Inevitable

Last night my sons went to a friends to play video games. In our small town, 2 streets down from us on a dead end street. They use the walkway path to get from back and forth. I know the parents, I know the friend and I know how much they're all obsessed with video games. I had no worries. Until.

It was late. I had stayed up reading but finally had to accept that I needed to go to bed. My children called to say they would be staying a little longer. "Okay, make sure you walk together and wake me when you get home so I know you got here safely"

Hours later, I'm still tossing and turning. Every little noise wakes me. I have a pit in my stomach. I don't feel well at all. I get up. I check outside. Finally I can't take it anymore. I phone, "You must come home now."

They were home within minutes.

Is this what it's going feel like in a few years when they can drive? When they are out more, on their own? When they're really spreading their wings and starting to leave the nest?

I know they must grow and leave. I want that. Really I do.

Last night was a test run. I think I failed.

I must prepare myself for the inevitable. It's coming.